Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
