I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Randomize
