I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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