Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
