Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I need water and some morals
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
