ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
