NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
