No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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