Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize