I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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