yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
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While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
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Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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