put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
