Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
