she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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