And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
