What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
