So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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