I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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