i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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