She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
How external is "for external use only"?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
