Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
