Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
