when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
