do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pole danced in your parka.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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