Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
