they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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