Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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