Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
