I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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