I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
