My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
