its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
