You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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