1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
