Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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