You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
