Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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