I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
