nut hugger
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
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