absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
