toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
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