this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
