i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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