My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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