never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
