god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
