Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Randomize
