You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
