ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
