Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i just wanna soil my oats bro
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
