We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
My penis needs a shock collar
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
