Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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