ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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