dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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