If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
