how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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