i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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