YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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