You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
