Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
