im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
