I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
